Wednesday, January 2, 2008

R.I.P. 2007

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season!! Now, as we go back the to gym to shed the extra calories, and clean out our closets, I thought I should dedicate this post to the trends of 2007 that should stay dead and buried with the year.

  • Tory Burch shoes - sorry to everyone who is a fan, but it's overload! Enough already! The time has passed. Not to mention the 50 million knockoffs of that damned buckle floating around out there. Goodbye!

  • Wide leg trousers - look, I fully realize that we all come in many different shapes - my shape is "large tushie". However, that doesn't mean that we have to put potato sacks on each of our legs! 99% of these pants are just NOT flattering. Go out there, find a pair of pants that works with your shape and flaunt what you've got. And burn these!

  • Weird knitted hippie beanie hats: lets face it, these hats only look good on .2% of the population (this model included). Mostly everyone else looks like their hat is falling off their head. Enough!

  • Not a fashion trend, but still - Alli. It does not work - my friend tried it, and she ended up crapping her pants at work. When they say "uncontrollable bowel movements", they mean it. Dieting and the gym, my friends! Stay away from this stuff! (plus, who knows what they will find out about it down the line...)

  • Stacked heels: I have expounded on this previously. Femininity is a GOOD thing, lets keep it that way. I have two words: Doc Maartens. Oh yeah - sending shivers down your spine? That is how I feel about these clunky shoes. Please, let the new year bring lots of pretty dainty shoes that don't make you look like you have clown feet.

  • High heeled Oxfords: What? That's really all I can say. I never understood it when it came out, and I still don't understand it now. Bleh!

  • Ankle boots with skirts/dresses: NO, NO, NO! Whoever thought that combination would look good was really out of their gourd. I think the fashion mags just got bored and had to come up with a new combination of something. Notice I am trying to give them the benefit of the doubt. Heinous!

  • Sequins: I am all for sequins for holidays/new years eve, but this season has been saturated! Anywhere you look for a cute short dress, your retinas are burned off by the glare! Whatever happened to colors? I love metallics, but geez.. After this season, I think the drag queens are going to see a serious shortage in fabric accoutrements...

  • The Balenciaga Motorcycle bag. I feel like this bag is already 5 years old. I want people to stop carrying it. I am sick of seeing it everywhere. And I do mean everywhere - the fakes on this puppy abound. Move on! There are better options out there!

And last, but most certainly not least, I will end this list by saying that ANYTHING that Britney Spears owns, wears, attempts to wear, touches, breathes on, thinks about, should definitely stay with 2007.
Sorry Brit. Here's hoping you get rid of the crazy in '08.... I'm not holding my breath.